Coldest Night
by fawny
Summary: Because you never completely forget your first love. ONESHOT. Fire/Spotted.


Don't get me wrong; I love FirexSand too. I'm just a little more familiar with FirexSpotted because it's the first ship that I found - and thus began supporting - when I first read _Warriors._

REVISED: 7/8/10_  
_

* * *

The moon hung low in the sky that night, glowing against the dark sky almost as fiercely as the sun during sunhigh. The warriors of Silverpelt glittered and twinkled, glinting like sparkling, tiny pieces fallen from the moon.

It was cold. The ginger tom shivered, fluffing out his fiery fur instinctively to drive out the small, icy splinters that prickled at his pelt. Yet it was greenleaf, a time of warmth and light pulsing down from the sun. So why was there a chill surrounding the bitter night air as though it were leaf-bare?

"Firestar."

The ThunderClan leader recognized his mate's scent, so familiar and comforting to him after all this time. The pale ginger warrior stepped up to him, brushing his pelt with a brief touch of her tail. "One of the apprentices has left you some fresh-kill in your den. Why don't you go in? I'm sure you're tired; it's been a busy day, after all, and it's as cold as leaf-bare…" She gave a shiver, shaking her glossy, sand-colored fur.

Firestar hesitated. A part of him wanted to escape the freezing cold and burrow inside his den, but something stronger kept him outside to bear with it. Some buried instinct was calling his name, whispering to stay outside. It was stronger than the pull to be comfortable and full-fed inside his den, so he shook his head, wincing as the cold stung at his ears.

"It's all right, Sandstorm. You can go to sleep; I'll join you soon. I'm just going to keep watch over the camp for a little while. Don't worry," he added hastily, as the she-cat stared at him incredulously, "I haven't got bees in my brain. A little night air never did a cat any harm, after all."

Leaf green eyes shone in the dark before Sandstorm sniffed. "All right. Just don't blame me when you catch greencough." She padded off to the den, meeting his steady gaze for a heartbeat and then disappearing into the darkness.

The flame-colored warrior gazed out into the night, lips pulling up because he knew her too well to be fooled by her haughtiness: it was simply her way of expressing concern. Sandstorm was a good mate, one who he could trust fully and who he loved with all of his being. She was loyal, loving, and a good mother to their kits even now, when they were all grown up.

At that, he shook his head, just a little bit dazed._ So much has happened since I first joined this Clan. My name was Rusty back then. I was a kittypet, and now look at me_: _leader of ThunderClan._

His kittypet days had been comfortable and soft; there was the luxury of always having food (albeit plain pellets that looked like small fox droppings), the gentle care of his housefolk, a warm and cozy place to sleep at night. But they had been nothing, _meaningless_ aspects compared to his experience in ThunderClan. Nothing from his kittypet past could ever compare to the ardent joy of battle, the pride of providing for his Clan, the utmost trust of his Clanmates.

If it were possible, being a leader was even more demanding than being a simple warrior—but it was worth it. It was _all_ worth it. Sharp thorns had pierced him, leaving varying degrees of pain, on the road to ThunderClan leader, but ultimately none of the moments from his past were worth those in the present. And he didn't regret any of them.

But some always came close. Firestar closed his eyes as sadness flooded through him. He had seen many deaths, of course; it was to be expected. But she had been one of the first to accept him into the Clan and his first love. She still visited him in his sleep, of course, but it wasn't the same.

"Can you hear me, Spottedleaf?" he whispered, opening his eyes and allowing a wry smile. "I wonder how it is in StarClan. I hope you like it up there. You were a great medicine cat and a great friend."

And suddenly he could see the willowy frame of a tortoiseshell in the moon. Blinking, Firestar stared for a heartbeat longer and smiled wider as her aroma filled his nose. "I miss you, Spottedleaf," he meowed. "You know that, right?"

_Yes,_ she purred fondly, and for a split moment he thought that the moon was smiling back at him. _Goodbye, Firestar. I'll always remember you._

"Goodbye," he breathed back. Amber eyes stroked his pelt, and then she was gone.

For a couple of heartbeats, the ginger warrior gazed at the sky. It might have been his imagination, but he thought that one more star was shining amongst Silverpelt, back where it belonged, so he sighed and padded back into his den. Moonlight filtered inside the stone den through a crack, though he found his way to the young rabbit one of the apprentices had left for him mostly by scent.

A tongue touched his ear lightly as Firestar gulped down the rabbit, the lingering warmth somehow dispelling the cold from his body. "Did the night air give you greencough, then? Or did it 'clear your head' like you said?"

Firestar merely flicked her, turning his head to grin. She smirked back, nuzzling him once and then curling up in their nest as he finished the rest of the prey in quick gulps. "Are you finally ready to sleep?"

"Yeah," the flame-colored leader murmured back. He stepped over and took his place beside her. "Must have been the night air."

"Huh," meowed Sandstorm. "I suppose it worked its magic after all, huh?" She snorted and shifted closer, instantly falling asleep.

He touched her flank gently and basked in the comfort that her presence brought her. Yes, he missed Spottedleaf and would always keep a special place in his heart for her. But while he wished that she were still there, still alive and whole and well, he had learned to adjust to life without her. A life with Yellowfang and Cinderpelt, with Sandstorm and his kits. He had made his peace with her death a long time ago.

_No,_ thought Firestar as he closed his eyes. _I don't regret a thing at all.  
_

* * *

7/8/10: Just read this for the first time in a year. It actually wasn't that bad as far as the description and grammar goes, but it was a bit OOC, as a reviewer (**Basket of Black Roses**) mentioned. Now, because the review came while I was away from FFN, I never responded to it, but I read it after a while and agreed with most of its points: yes, Firestar was definitely not totally in character here, but I believe that's the very nature of most FirexSpotted stories.

However, that's not an excuse to write something OOC, so I revised this whole oneshot and changed it up quite a bit. Instead of the impromptu meeting with Spottedleaf, he has a short exchange with her that conveys his satisfaction with his present situation. And you're right; I think that he _is_ fine with the way things turned out in the end. So I changed that.

Carrying on, this piece centers on first loves and the moments we regret from the past. Whatever happens, you never forget your first love and everything s/he gave you, so that's the theme I tried to portray here. While doing so, I'm not sure if I kept the characters IC, because it's been a while since I've read the Warriors series, but I hope I succeeded in showing the idea I tried to show~

Also, please don't find me pretentious for trying to explain the message of this story - I'm just worried that this is too ambiguous. If so, send me a review and I'll try to fix it (again xDDD). Anyway, I'm going to wrap up this ridiculously long AN now. :s


End file.
